Within Two Months Time....

Hey loves,

Not going to lie with each passing tick tock of the clock it is getting scarier and scarier, for multiple reasons.

•  I am going to university in less than two bloody months, not long ago I was jumping up and down finding out that I, Shankies, has had an unconditional offer and will be going to university this September. 

But one problem, I got let down not by 1 but by 4 landlords whilst looking for student accommodation. Average per term rate for accommodation for university is £3,000. OUCH! My poor, poor purse. Even though a family member has offered to pay my deposit for the rented accommodation, it’s just finding the house then meeting the house mates reading over the tenancy agreement and then agreeing to it. Doesn’t sound hard now, does it? Wrong again my loves, you see I have to move without securing a job down there, even I have messaged small businesses asking for open vacancies already. Most said they haven't got any and now its getting a little scary.

What might be a solution is what everyone has been telling me to avoid. Moving back in with my mother. Do not get me wrong, I love my mammy, love my stepdad and also my siblings but everyone is telling me what if I want to stay out? What if I want a drink? What if I participate in clubs and societies? What If I do want to stay at my mams but this family member might be cross at me? Do I want my independence? Will this be a step back? 

The last think I want is a feud but I need to think of all of these things and see if its for me, and me alone without anyone looking through the window and seeing a living room instead of the whole house!

• With university I have to leave Panda Bear up in Scotland. Since leaving so close near each other, it’s a worrying thought even though he said we’ll figure something out, stop worrying. Urgh, I AM A WORRYBUG! FEAR ME! I PANIC! I don’t want to imagine him not being a part of me. I am utterly madly, truly and deeply in love with my cariad. I just don’t want to leave him behind. 

I think I need a cuddle?

Greatest love,

Shankies

xxxx

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